"Today I affirm: to free myself from whatever is holding me back. I give myself permission to let go and move on without guilt." - alex elle.
I stumbled across Alex Elle on instagram when I needed her soothing words the most. When I felt like the world was crashing down around me and things would never look up. Allow me to be unedited and so very honest, lately i have been drowning in negativity. My personal, social, mental, emotional and all other aspects are just trending toward the red - its like CAUTION! CAUTION! please pay attention to this warning so you can get your life back on track..
I'm not sure what happened or when that sinking feeling started to creep back in but it has and while I've learned to feel and notice the warning signs so that I can begin correcting i sometimes need to allow myself to feel it. I need to hit this low point so that when I rise I can continue to show myself how much stronger I am.
On days like today where it all feels too heavy. where staying at home sounds safer and a little bit easier. where shutting out the world stops me from feeling - i let it all in. i let the hurt, the despair and the crushing loneliness wash over me because i am learning how to free myself from ALL that is holding me back. As Alex Elle said, i'm learning how to give myself permission to let go and move on from these emotions.
My battle with depression will always be a constant work in progress but I can't and won't get better if i don't allow myself to recognize that its real. i won't get better if i don't allow myself to feel it all - even when it hurts :
i am strong, because i have been weak.
i am fearless, because i have been afraid
i am wise, because i have been foolish.