i want to be brave.

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She wants to stick around but she finds it easier to walk away. She finds it easier to be alone. She finds it easier to be selfishly guarded instead of getting hurt again. She doesn’t know how to be brave anymore.

 

I want to be brave again, I want to wake up every morning not afraid of what the day may hold for me. I want to let all the good in instead of being terrified of the bad. I realize that I am a work in progress but lately its felt like I am suffocating in the struggle. In all honestly, 2017 has been the loneliest year of my life thus far. While I have perfected the perfect online life and updated everyone on my world travels I have been quietly trying to figure it the fuck out - what am I doing? Where am I going? Why doesn't this feel right? 

I get it. We all change as we age and we turn into different people but I envy how carefree I was when I was 15. I had no idea that life would literally swallow me up and then spit me out. My adult years have been a lesson in struggle, patience and perseverance. 

 

Life isn't worth living without a little struggle - its all about how we climb out of it.

Patience is key to rebuilding after you've been knocked down. 

Perseverance has taught me that no matter how many times I get knocked down I have to claw my way back to the top. 

2018 - please be good to me. 

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