Our 20s are hard. We’re constantly stuck between whether we’re doing enough or nothing at all. We have a hard time seeing the bigger picture and we’re too busy comparing our lives to those we graduated high school or college with. I am guilty of impostor syndrome. I always look at my life wondering why I’m not where I feel I should be - but where is that? I question whether or not I’m doing enough when in reality i have no idea what enough even is. I am happy, healthy and figuring my shit out along the way, should i be proud? So today’s blog post is all about my 20’s, so far and the 4 life lessons I’ve picked up along the way - even though I’m positive there will be more to come.
HEALTH IS WEALTH.
I feel like before I even begin talking about health is wealth you should know something about me - i am a hypochondriac - through and through. I am that person who assumes shes dying at least 10x a week and constantly google diagnoses myself as well as annoys the ever loving shit out of my doctor (shes asked me to stop calling unless its a real life emergency) its pretty bad and probably stems from my issue with anxiety as well. So now that I’ve bared a sliver of my soul lets get into the real shit. For the last couple of years I had been steadily putting on weight and just not feeling the need to exercise or anything - i got married 5 years ago and just kinda said fuck it, he’ll love me anyways. I would go from my 9-5 straight to the couch and pig out on food while my partner decided to go to the gym. Don’t get me wrong, he would ask and I would ALWAYS decline because nah, the gym wasn’t my thing. It was when I stepped on the scale, had my cousin tell me the truth and the fact that I could no longer see my knees and ankles to accept that I had put on a lot of extra weight and needed to really start taking myself seriously and 6 months ago I decided to do just that. I am happily down on my body fat and body mass index and whew I feel like I have a whole new lease on life which is amazing but so far my 20s has taught me that health really and truly is wealth. I have been given this one body and I need to take care of it so that I can live a long and healthy life and on top of wanting to live a long and healthy life - getting fit and healthy has done WONDERS for my depression and cooking skills. I used to question the amount of money the gym would cost me but quickly realized that spending money on my health is a cost I’m willing to pay because I want to live and be the best version of myself.
FINANCIAL LITERACY IS NECESSARY.
Whew child. This topic is hard for me because I am so goddamn terrible with money it should be a crime. I always had this idea that you should spend as soon as you got it and I never tried hard enough to start building a healthy nest egg just in case things went south in my life. Growing up I didn’t always have the best people to follow after when it came to finances - i mean none of us had our shit together and it took getting married to someone who did have his shit together that helped me in getting my affairs in order. Trust me, my affairs still aren’t all the way in order but I am heading in a better direction than I started so that means something. My credit score has gone up, my savings account while still small has more than $50 in it - that’s saying a lot. But in all honestly, financial literacy was never something I understood or grasped. I was never taught the correct way to spend and save. I just assumed I would find a well paying job and everything would fall into place (i didn’t, and it hasn’t.) I feel like I am not alone in this idea but I wish we were given specific classes before graduating high school that taught us the value of good credit vs poor credit/ rent vs buy/ student loans vs grants/scholarships. I’m 28 and finally climbing out of the mess my 19 year old self caused and its a true work in progress but I’m proud of the direction I’m going in. I’m also understanding the importance of, I cant do certain things because my funds are low - its not embarrassing to admit that. I want to stop spending money on frivolous materialistic items and focus on putting my money where my heart is - traveling. I want to spend money creating memories not clothing or shoes I probably wont be able to fit in a few years time.
STEP OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE.
Step outside your comfort zone, nothing ever grows there. I have taken that quote to heart recently. I’m tired of remaining stuck in a space that no longer serves me because I’m too afraid to see what else lies outside of it. There are so many opportunities, people, places etc. outside of my comfort zone that I would never see had I stayed stuck in what I know instead of experiencing and learning from what I don’t. I guess I’m saying is we’re not getting any younger and we don’t get these days back so I want to live it up and experience everything this life has to offer.
THERAPY ISN’T A DIRTY WORD.
Therapy has saved my life. I don’t say those words lightly. I truly believe had I never gotten involved in therapy I would not be sitting here at my desk typing this blog post. I had hit a really dark patch in my life and started wallowing so deep I didn’t know if I would ever get out of it, I ended up reaching out to a therapist I had been given the number of and made the initial conversation starter which was all I needed. I remember sitting down on the plush couch and instead of wanting to go sleep and never wake up I instead had verbal diarrhea. Once the words, “i used to want to die and some days i feel that way again.” she put down the pen and told me to let it all out. in a mixture of sobs, snot and uncontrollable shaking i let someone else into my world and instead of her tearing it apart she slowly put me back together and i am forever thankful.
therapy isn’t a dirty word. i advocate for therapy because i am a witness to its power. therapy saved my life and the moment you allow yourself to see the benefits of therapy you could find a way to heal as well. my 18 year self is thanking the 28 year old version because she can finally heal all the broken pieces of herself.