it's time to pack up my past and move on.
Letting go is fucking brutal - I hold onto people, places and things with all my might hoping that I never have to pack them into a box and say goodbye to the memories that are attached to them. I mean, I still think about the boyfriend I had in 5th-6th grade that dumped me for my friend or the boy I fell in love with in high school who I treated like shit because I barely loved myself, but most of all i think about the friendships that ended, the bad decisions that propelled my life in a direction i wasn't always prepared for and while i hold some regrets i wonder if i had ever let go of my past would i be sitting here writing this now? Is my past to blame for the way my life has ended up so far? I've come to realize I need to pack up the memories, the moments and the regrets. I need to put those people into a memory box and tuck it away. While these memories have hurt me AND healed me they have also given me a great look at how I am growing as a woman, Raina Mulia said it perfectly, "God has a funny way of showing us who we needed and when. He shows us that sometimes we try to turn temporary people into forever people but that’s not their role. They’re not meant to stay in our lives forever. God called them to be there for us for a short period of time. He called them to be in our lives so they can make us better for the ones who are meant to stay forever."
He makes no mistakes and I'm ready to give it all over to God.