We all have ghosts. Some are better at hiding.
I was laying in bed one night watching reruns of Sex & the City and it was on the episode where Carrie realized she wanted the ghost from relationships past aka Aidan and I hated her in that moment. One, she broke Aidan's heart by sleeping with Big and then managed to realize 6 months later she wanted that old thing back. I immediately turned the tv off and went to bed because I just couldn't be bothered by Carrie's fuckery that late at night. Fast forward to my current vacation and we decided to go to Pittock Mansion and see what all the scary and haunted hype was about. It wasn't scary and the view was beautiful but it was how silent and eerie it all felt that transported me back to my late night sex and the city binge session. It got me thinking...
We all have ghosts. Some of our ghosts hide better than others and some of them keep us up at night. I have a few - mine sometimes stop me dead in my track as I work through the memories and attempt to shut them off, others sneak up when you least expect it but go away just as quick. I used to tell myself I didn't believe in ghosts yet as I stood at the Pittock Mansion viewpoint I realized I did.
My ghosts are like everybody else's, some of them are people, some are experiences i didn't take or jobs i screwed up but they are ghosts all the same. There are days when I play the 'what if' game and stay up late at night and wonder had i done things differently in XYZ would my life be what it is today. The answer is no. My life is what it is because of the ghosts of my past - i am where i am because of the missed opportunities, the heartbreak, the pain and while its always nice to reminisce and wonder if things could be different, inviting those ghosts into my life would do nothing but bury me alive if i let them.
Regrets, ghosts, they're all the same and while experiencing the Pittock mansion with a side of Sex and the City brought mine to the forefront i tamper them down because those ghosts don't live here anymore and its time i let them go.