never be too tired to do what you love.

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I have always kind of floated here and there, slowly trying to figure out what space I want to occupy with my time, what direction I wanted to go in and what creative idea I wanted to explore more. It wasn't until my very wise mother asked me how I was doing (i'm gonna pretend she meant mentally AND physically for the purpose of this piece) and I answered her as vaguely as i could without worrying her, "tired. really fucking tired" and of course, my moms generation has a weird dislike for anything millennial related so she looked at me like all mothers do and rolled her eyes while saying, "you kids today are always tired. we were tired back then but we loved what we did. your generation is missing that love." that stuck with me  because for once my ears were open wide enough to understand and 

take what she was giving me. my mom in a roundabout way was telling me we should never be too tired to do what we love. i left my moms house ready to write down things that make me truly happy and things I enjoy doing. after writing my list i realized i couldn't remember the last time i truly took time out of my day to focus on things that made me happiest - reading, writing, shooting. without realizing it i got "too tired" and too complacent in the way my life was going i stopped working hard at the things that gave me the most joy. I understand life gets hard but i don’t want to look back on my life and realize I missed out on what makes me happy simply because I was “too tired” from life’s occasional pile of shit i stepped in. so i left my moms house that afternoon itching for more adventures, to make my calendar as full as possible with new and exciting moments and adventures, to continue shooting photos and firing up final cut pro and Photoshop to work on the craft that i have loved from afar for too long.

My moms words of wisdom may have lit a small fire under my ass but make no mistakes, I have days were I am nothing but completely exhausted, where i am bone tired from working two jobs and remembering to focus on my fitness. I have come to realize, its much more enjoyable to remember the important things in life - like the trips i've taken or the  photos i've edited that tell a story of a well lived life. i want to look back on all these moments and realize how worth it those tired days are from really and truly living life. If i'm spending so much time dwelling over being so tired, imagine how much time i could have being happy.

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no, you can't touch my hair.

New day, new hair color! I have no idea how this color came about. The only thing I remember is telling Ash (my stylist) that I was thinking about going hot pink and if we could actually achieve it while holding onto the integrity of my hair (there will be a more in depth blog post regarding hair care and a sit down with the stylist herself to answer any questions) I went from a faded purple/lilac to a holy shit that is pink and I'm still getting used to it but ugh I am so over people offering their opinions - especially when I didn't ask for them. I;m used to the blatant stares, they're to be expected when you see woman walking around rocking hot pink hair people are going to look - its natural BUT going up to someone you don't know whilst reaching out your hand as if you are going to stroke my hair and then making weird statements like, "wow, pink. your so brave." "i wonder if she has a job" "how does your boss like that hair color"...well let me break it down for you. 

1. no, you cannot touch my hair so back up.

2. pink is cool. and i've been blue, green and purple so pink is tame. 

3. yes, i do have a job. i've held down my job for almost 4 years with zero complaints. didn't know my hair color could stop me from doing my job! 

4. my boss thinks its amazing and always appreciates how i keep her on her toes when it comes to my hair. 

jokes aside. WHY is it ok to shame someone or make snide comments while standing behind them in coffee shops about the decisions they make? is my hair suddenly going to stop you from being able to perform your daily duties? is my hair distracting you from telling the barista your coffee order? do you know something about my boss' inner most thoughts regarding my hair that i don't? 

what happened to allowing people to think and feel for themselves? allowing people to be whoever they want to be  - pink, purple, blue or green. im allowed to be whoever it is i choose to be and you're not allowed to shame me into thinking i should be anything different. so please, dont touch my hair or even make a comment about it because that hot pink hair is on MY head, not yours.